Daniel MorrowMusicians...
June 21st 2008 16:34
So hey, I figure if I'm doing a music blog, I should say something about musicians eh?
I myself am a musician, and hence, you might think I'm biased. Well... for you non-musicians out there, let me be the first to say:
Yes! Musicians ARE arrogant and ignorant!
Ok, so maybe not quite, lol.
Time for a general breakdown of your stereotypical musicians:
Vocalists: Now, vocalists are often portrayed as arrogant and self-centered. After all, most of the time, the majority of the focus is on them, why shouldn't they be? Often, they are also seen as knowing little about actual music terminology, and often missing their cues. "How can you tell there's a singer at your door? He can't find the key and he doesn't know when to come in." See? Classic vocalist stereotypes.
Guitarists: These happy fellows are usually seen in a similar light to the singer. They are the kings of the stage, especially Lead Guitarists. When they are playing the solo, they... are... God... Also, they are broke criminals "How do you get a guitarist off your porch? Pay for the pizza" "What do you say to a guitarist in a 3 piece suit? Will the defendant please rise" And so on...
Bassists: My specialty
Now, bass players are the "hangers on" of the band. No one really takes any notice of them, and they are usually hidden up the back near the drummer. Usually viewed as drunks that have no need for musical ability as all they do is follow the guitar on one string. "How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb? One, but the guitarist has to show him how first"
Drummers: Ahhhh drummers... The butts of countless jokes about a lack of intelligence. Drummers don't need to understand music, or even speech. They are brainless cavemen who hit things with sticks, and unfortunately, they are under the false impression that that louder they play, the better they are. They also sleep with anything that moves. "Why is a drum machine better than a drummer? You only have to punch the information into a drum machine once, and it won't sleep with your girlfriend"
Of course, all these are stereotypes. I know plenty of singers whose egos are in check, and who understand music. Almost every guitarist I know is humble and law abiding (well, if you exclude the pot use...) Being a bass player myself I know that I do more than just follow the guitar. I create a solid base for the song together with the drums. And I know plenty of intelligent dru... well I know a coup... I know one... OK so I don't know any drummers that are rocket-scientists... But most of the drummers I know do manage to keep it in their pants the majority of the time.
So now that you've been introduced to the musicians you are most likely to encounter in a Metal band, feel confident that you'll know how to handle each one of them! Stroke the Singer's ego! Buy the guitarist a drink! Get the drummer a root! And for GOD'S SAKE take notice of the bass player!!
Comments and jokes welcome,
Dan
I myself am a musician, and hence, you might think I'm biased. Well... for you non-musicians out there, let me be the first to say:
Yes! Musicians ARE arrogant and ignorant!
Ok, so maybe not quite, lol.
Time for a general breakdown of your stereotypical musicians:
Vocalists: Now, vocalists are often portrayed as arrogant and self-centered. After all, most of the time, the majority of the focus is on them, why shouldn't they be? Often, they are also seen as knowing little about actual music terminology, and often missing their cues. "How can you tell there's a singer at your door? He can't find the key and he doesn't know when to come in." See? Classic vocalist stereotypes.
Guitarists: These happy fellows are usually seen in a similar light to the singer. They are the kings of the stage, especially Lead Guitarists. When they are playing the solo, they... are... God... Also, they are broke criminals "How do you get a guitarist off your porch? Pay for the pizza" "What do you say to a guitarist in a 3 piece suit? Will the defendant please rise" And so on...
Bassists: My specialty
Now, bass players are the "hangers on" of the band. No one really takes any notice of them, and they are usually hidden up the back near the drummer. Usually viewed as drunks that have no need for musical ability as all they do is follow the guitar on one string. "How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb? One, but the guitarist has to show him how first"Drummers: Ahhhh drummers... The butts of countless jokes about a lack of intelligence. Drummers don't need to understand music, or even speech. They are brainless cavemen who hit things with sticks, and unfortunately, they are under the false impression that that louder they play, the better they are. They also sleep with anything that moves. "Why is a drum machine better than a drummer? You only have to punch the information into a drum machine once, and it won't sleep with your girlfriend"
Of course, all these are stereotypes. I know plenty of singers whose egos are in check, and who understand music. Almost every guitarist I know is humble and law abiding (well, if you exclude the pot use...) Being a bass player myself I know that I do more than just follow the guitar. I create a solid base for the song together with the drums. And I know plenty of intelligent dru... well I know a coup... I know one... OK so I don't know any drummers that are rocket-scientists... But most of the drummers I know do manage to keep it in their pants the majority of the time.
So now that you've been introduced to the musicians you are most likely to encounter in a Metal band, feel confident that you'll know how to handle each one of them! Stroke the Singer's ego! Buy the guitarist a drink! Get the drummer a root! And for GOD'S SAKE take notice of the bass player!!
Comments and jokes welcome,
Dan
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